What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
