I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
