Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
