I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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