idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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