My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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