these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
