wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
