but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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