4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
