He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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