I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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