oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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