saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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