But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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