That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
