Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
