Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
