becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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