its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
How's work?
Spinning.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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