Me. At least after what I've been through.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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