i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
