This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
