there was a trapeze. enough said
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
