Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
