I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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