I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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