idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
