Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
