These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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