If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
