feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
