I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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