i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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