I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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