i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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