It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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