Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
