Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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