Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
