just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
