God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont even know how to be here
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
