Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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