Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
