Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
