Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
