I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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