piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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