you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
