im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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