We got so high we made milksteak
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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